DATE

Women are notoriously sensitive to pressure.

They areparticularly responsive to the kind of pressures a man will puton them to respond to his interest in her.The problem is that most men don't realize what they're doing isso damaging.Let me outline a couple of the areas where men typically putpressure on women :(o) Getting a Phone Number or a Connection : "Hey, you like reallygood in those jeans... Why don't you give me your number so wecan go out sometime? Like maybe on a date?"

"Wow, I'd really liketo, but I'm living with my sister right now, and she wouldn'tlike it if I had some stranger call." "Well then give me youremail address." "I don't have one." He sighs. Just then her cellphone rings. "Gee, I gotta go," she says. He stands therescratching his head.(o) Getting a Date : "Hey, Jennifer, I wanted to see if you'reinterested in going out on Saturday with me?" (Several mistakesin this approach - 1) No definite plan, 2) Asking for atraditional "date" sets you up for a pre-programmed response fromher, 3) Asking her instead of telling her.)


She then says, "Well,I might have to wash my hair." Anything other than a resounding"YES" means she's not interested enough. "Well, c'mon, Jennifer.It'll be fun. You'll see." Eventually, she gets tired of saying"NO" in a way that doesn't hurt his feelings. "No, Greg," shefinally says. "Well, how about Sunday afternoon? We could go tothe park and ..." "No, Greg." "Are you sure?"


Greg gets pointsfor persistence, but most of his persistence is wasted when hedoesn't open his eyes and admit that she's not interested.Remember, a "date" carries with it a boatload of pressure builtin. (Getting her interested beforehand so that you don't have toplay this game is what the Dating Black Book is about.)(o) Getting Laid: Mike is kissing her and fumbling with thebutton on her jeans. She grabs his hand and makes a painedexpression. "Mike, I just don't know if I'm ready." (Which reallymeans she hasn't built up either enough trust or attraction forhim.) "C'mon, Tammy, don't stop now.

]Not when we're having somuch fun." Again, Mike in denial, thinking that HIS experience isthe same as hers. "Let's just slow down. I'm not ready to go thisfar tonight." He sighs. "FINE, Tammy," Mike says, as he starts tosulk. Mike's reaction is a childish attempt to guilt her intosex. Nineteen times out of twenty, she will be so turned off thata future meeting is unlikely, where she might actually have beenready to put out.


Now he will be unlikely to see her again. Thatother one time in twenty, she might give in, and resent him somuch that he never hears from her again. (And that's BAD karma,you would-be Don Juans out there...)

The secret to this dilemma is to NEVER push a woman. You alwaysLEAD her. If a woman feels a pressure on her to perform or dosomething out of obligation, you will only get her begrudgingcompliance, and probably not even that.On the other hand, if she feels the freedom to take action on herown, the space to do what she really wants, she is more likely tostay interested and go in the direction you are pointing.

(Referto the "Dance" in the Black Book.) There has to be a kind of"aching" space between you and her for her to want to reachacross it.When women sense pressure from a man, in any way, she is going tobe suspicious of you and your intentions. What a man communicatesby pushing is insecurity and a lack of patience. Her consciousand subconscious mind will never be able to trust him - and shewill in fact MIS-trust him as a result. (There is a differencebetween a lack of trust and actively mistrusting someone. If shethinks she has a reason to mistrust you, you're not likely goingto turn that around anytime soon.)

The opposite of pressure is PATIENCE.Self-control.You will never go further with a woman than her level of comfortwill let you, so you need to keep her comfortable enough by neverover-stepping her boundary of pressure.The more free she feels to do the things she wants, the morelikely you are to engage her interest and get where you want togo with her.Remember : We actively avoid those situations in life thatthreaten our freedom. And this goes twice as much for people.


To Your Dating Success,David Kwandavid @ datingclass.comhttp://DatingClass.com